We had a talk after our first real date
I used Sharon's Gold Cell as segue
I needed you to know
enough to understand
enough to get why
Before I shed my clothes
I had to untie those secrets
to lay them out across our laps
feet up on the coffee table
I had to look away as I always do
and tell you
how damaged I was
how broken my heart had been
before I ever saw it coming
how it wouldn't be personal
how it wouldn't be about you
how I carried this weight all my life
how I didn't know if I could rest it
and you sat stone quiet
arm across my shoulders
you kissed my hair
locking your knees under mine
6-15-13
Tiny creatures are living in my stomach
They are living off the lining, gnawing holes
They returned or were dormant for years
They remind me that I've held back too long
That I need to let more of it go
Pack that box, donate to charity
They burrow deep, clenching tight
They love my body in ways I never will
They are singing choruses in unison
They know my diet, my lack of vegetables
They know how many times I've cried
They love that, it feeds them
When I hold it in, when I stay awake
They rejoice in my anger and my apathy
They love not when I love and laugh
It dissolves them, it starves them
I do battle with them every single day
I count in to breathe and slow release
I lay my hands and rebuke them
I pray to their gods for forgiveness
They must soon sleep or migrate again
6-9-13
