Love, Fear, and Irony

A prisoner held captive by your love-
I was your only source of life.
You clung to me like a child,
And my heart melted into your eyes.
You drank my strength like water
And poured me out for more.
We knew no other light of day
Than the world we built together-
An island for the lost at sea,
Hand clenched, we'd face eternity.
My child, I do admit with much restrain,
At times I could wish, "No more!"
But my lips would never form
Those words you assumed to hear.
Alas, my heart would sooner face
A blanket on unearthly disaster.
Now the tables have turned upside down,
And I have become a pleading slave,
Longing to quench this cursed thirst
As Fate's laughter rings clear.
All that I wanted and all that I had
Left to join their unfinished circle,
And I on the outside sit speechless,
Knowing to try to change the forces at hand
Would only then cast me farther out
Within a role without an understudy.

10-15-92

The Edge of Fear

Sometimes shadows
creep up on me
like a stranger.
Like memories, the shadows slip
quietly into me head.
Pictures of blood covered hands
stain my eyes
and I remember...

You sat on black satin sheets,
empty of expression-
cold as a winter's night.

Everytime I walk alone
I feel their eyes upon me;
I can hardly bare
the urge to burst,
"Stop looking at me!"

The pigs snort up gold
and roll in their riches.
I curse the greed of lust
that bubbles under their skin.

I want to erupt,
"I hate your eyes!
I hate to feel you move with me!
I hate feeling fear
as you laugh,
knowing your power."

Trembling heart, I'd give the world
to kill the pain you feel tonight.
They raped so much more than your body-
too much more to name.

Sometimes those shadows
stay in the dark,
where all fears
and insecurities reside.
And just as quickly
as they can come,
I can shadow too.

10-14-92