Innocence

How do you make innocence stay

How can you capture

How can you hold something so frail

Can you seal it up

In glass and steal

Can you take its picture

Frame it fast before it fades
How do you keep this smile
Pure and sweet
Cold winter’s breath
How do you make it new
Make the light shine
The whole flower bloom

The ocean’s voice reminds

I am smaller still

Than the day before

Every moment I give in

Every compromise

And tiny white lie

How can you make innocence stay

Fleeting as the morning shadows
I cannot stay forever
In the precious silence
Where dark and light are equally love

Where there is no fear

And there is no hate
How can I capture
Make it real and now
My child soul saved
Maybe much has been taken
And more I have willingly given out
But if I can choose
If I can see the chance
To keep what is left
I’ll make the choice
To know a little less
To laugh sincere
To cry to feel to hurt
To walk arms open and eyes closed
Held by the wind
Warmed by the sun
My heart will beat strong
My feet will stand tall
Closer to whole
And stronger to love
How, I ask once again,

How do you make innocence stay

6-15-99

Thoughtless And…

I feel angry today

because I just shaved my legs

because it changes nothing

your words are still swarming

my head aching

you said “don’t get all sad”

and I laugh

you put yourself on a petalstool

I wasn’t around

I was alone thinking

about anything but you

I almost forgot

until you showed up

friendly smiling loud

hearty handshake

you had to ask

I had to walk away

ended up in the front seat

waste of time

your voice resounding

in between the windows

it wasn’t turning me on

you drove me home

you never understand

how me and irony are

you were hoping

I could tell I’d let you down

and then you flooded me

with your version of honesty

I knew then I’d lost you

(I thought you’d get it

I thought you knew somehow)

the more you spoke the less I cared

so I made you what you wanted

I made you meaningless

a body and a face

my tongue in your mouth

maybe I could just consume you

like an ice cream cone

swallow you whole

it meant nothing

me and you pursuing

hands and legs

my knees turned you on

I had never noticed

that you have nice lips

we were in motion without a thought

but that’s where you went wrong

it’s too late for you now

thoughtless and objectified

it works, but not for me

I am not angry

at you wanting me

just that it’s the only thing

you want from me

my head is still swarming

I’ll go on, I swear

another day

wading in the shallows

when I so want to swim in deep warm waters

deafening and dark drowning in beauty

it’s too late for you now

6-11-99