My Hero

How easy it would be
to slip into the arms
of convenience,
close your eyes tight,
and never count the cost
of your rebellion.
Those that will talk
will only rummage
through the used garbage
their hands only
know too well.
They will never
know the hero
your heart conceals.
My friend, I see you
and the paths
you quickly overlooked.
You could have ran
the other way,
hiding inside
your lost innocence.
You chose to face
the self-righteous
and the certain future
of trials ahead
when you could have easily
turned out the light
of the life
that is growing
inside you.
You have given up
your childhood
and the simplicity it held
so the voiceless child
could have the chance to live.
My respect for your courage
is beyond what words can say.
My heart sends its admiration
as your world turns upside down.
Those that will talk
will never realize
the unselfish hero
I see in your eyes.

7-28-92

On Standing By

Times-
oh, how they've changed!
You and I-
a story yet to be told.
From the heart,
we've stood-oh-so many tests.
From love to hate
and all that lies between,
the crashing waves
have yet to scratch
the endurance of our vows.
Though we've both known sorrow
and its elegiac cries,
we've tasted joy
and found where true peace lies.
Through the bonds of honesty
our loyalty has been forged.
Like a hammer pounds smoldering iron,
trials have been thrust upon us,
intending to break us-
they have only merged us more.
I've watched you crumble
and scampered to hold you together.
You've taught me tears
and how to touch feelings.
We've traveled through darkness
and seen the light of day.
No one could touch those times-
though they may change-
we shall endure as long
as God reigns on high.

7-23-92

Things of Meaning

I bought all kinds of things for you.
Things that say, "I love you"
or "I was thinking of you."
My things have done nothing
to make you feel the same.
I wasn't trying to buy you-
I only wanted you to see
that I have no one else.
The things that make me smile
are those that whisper memories
of you and me together.
They were the happiest days
of my empty life.
These things can surround me,
but never fill this heart of mine.
When words fail me,
the things I give to you
can only serve as reminders
of the way I feel for you.

7-21-92

Should I…

Should I curse God,
or make Him my lover?
In all the world
There lies but one truth-
oh! For life to be
so simplistic;
for meaning
to be so readily grasped!

I am searching the world
for Sincerity,
Honesty-
what a beautiful thought!
In a wold caked
with infinite deception,
Mm heart and eyes
look toward the skies.

I know!
I know I am self-chained
from inside!
Do I care?
Should I care?
Isn’t caring self-denial?

Oh, God!
Can I really be real?
You are;
aren’t I?

This brittle body
and this heart of stone
want nothing more
than to be torn apart.
This is my prayer-
my wish,
and my deepest desire.

Broken is clean
and clean is pure
Purity is Sincere-
Honest-
what a beautiful thought!

7-18-92

Yet Another

Feeling small,
I gaze at passing clouds,
wondering how
and when my happiness withered.

Cars, trucks, and semis
congest on local passage ways.
Oh, how I long to burn pass them
and fly through the open air!

"This pain won't go away,"
I said, but could not explain.
My anchored heart
cannot whisper its story;
only can it wail with the sirens
that live in the stormy seas.

My love is not lost-
it's empty- sucked dry
by the leeches that surround me
and the dreams
that constantly laugh
at my feeble arms
reaching...

My life is the story
of a donkey and a carrot.
"Can't you see I don't care
where I'm going?"
They know
and laugh,
pointing fingers
as I stumble past.

I'm so tired and weak.
Can't you see
I can't be strong anymore?
Can't you see
I cannot be strong anymore!

And God in Heaven above is silent,
keeping the universe in line,
washing the mountains with rain,
and causing new life to be conceived.

I love to watch fireflies
in black forests
under starry skies.
I held one once
in my eager hands;
it slipped away,
right through my grasp.
It didn't understand
the love I had inside;
it didn't give me a chance
to say the right things;
it didn't wait to see
that I only needed a friend.

I lay alone again,
closing my eyes to Heaven.
My light goes out
and I whisper,
"I'm sorry."
I know He somehow understands.
I'm glad
because I don't.

7-12-92

green

am I sleeping?
am I dreaming?
could I be
falling
down
a hole
in the sky?
is it me,
or does this world
feel like
it's spinning
off its axis?
I would get up,
but the last time I tried
the Earth turned over,
and I landed
on my back,
wondering why
and who
for no reason at all.
now the sky
turned so green-
I feel I drink it
with a great big slurp!.
I follow upside down
the straight line in the sky,
slipping into a black hole
disappearing forever...
oh! how I love the color green!

7-1-92