Recycled

to feel the heat
palms and knees
you withdrawal your face
into my arms awaiting
my heart pushing limits
when you reach deep
and I let you touch
in my darkest corners
don't let me down
they all take their turn
I deny revenge
to prove my resilience
I lie another day
stop eating my insides out
I am alone again
you tried holding me back
and setting me free
you kiss my eyes
caress my anxiety
it wasn't my intentions
to hide myself from you
but when I start to run
I leave everything behind
blaming only my lack of trust
I count myself empty
but you smile and sigh
because I've always had you
the farther you reach
and the harder you pull
the rush of my soul
to give myself up
and surrender my instincts
resisting the conflict
with your deep persistence
you leave nothing of myself
for me to call home
and in the end
you make me more
than I ever was
before you

7-10-93

The Desire To Be God

you lick the spoon of life
I fear such indulgence
pushed out of my driver’s seat
should your overdose of risk
be counted as complete experience
or fully realized passion?
I want to inhale you
breathe death’s fumes
to bring you strength
I would use my body
to shield your weakness
drive you blade deep
into my heart decayed
and leave your regret to rot
I can build you walls
I can hold back the rain
I can surround your soul
from the poison thunder
I will bring you peace
from my rooms of solitude
in hopes I can quite
the nightmare you live
I do not know your war
Oh! how I would fight
if God would give to me
the battle raging inside you
God must see us low
in our blind theater play
and envy the gods you make
I fall mute in anguish
for our jealous God seeks
your untainted devotion
turn to Him like a clock
wound tight for purpose
I sign in satisfaction
knowing my destiny to fail
in loving you, God will not.

7-93