Uncertain Impulse

I want to jump out of here
I want to rip the paper off the walls
I'm going to throw my work outside
I'm going to break all the windows
and watch it all shatter into forever
I feel like cutting everything in sight
I feel like running away
and always moving on
I want to break all the furniture
I want to break all the memories
and kill the unceasing pain
I'd like to turn on the music
until the floors are shaking underground
I'd like to thrash around like an animal
destroying everything around me
I want to release the insanity in me
and let it run free in the wild
But when it comes down to it
I'd rather not clean up the mess.

1-30-90

Do You Believe

I don’t believe
In anything
I don’t believe
In anyone
I don’t believe in trust
And I sure don’t believe
In you
Everything will
Lie to you
Everything will
Turn against you
The only thing
That is real to me
Is my complete
Lack of trust

1-27-90

Everything In Me

Everything in me
Is Screaming
Everything in me
Is Crying
I need to break out
I need to run away
Everything in me
Wants to destroy
Everything around me
Everything in me
Wants to jump
Out of a window
I need to get it out
I need to cut it open
Everything in me
Is going to lash out
I need to find someone
I need to get it out

1-25-90

Black Blessings

Bitterness and hate
Regret and desperation
Shadows locked indoors
Empty thoughts laughed away
Creatures balance out
Loneliness in a crowd
Whispers from the shallow
Hiding in their own darkness
Drunken lust swept below
Casual patriotism sung aloud
Confusing words slashed apart
Black blessings cast aside
Will there ever be a cure
For the way we feel inside

1-19-90