My room is a mess
Clothes are strewn
Papers are piling
Is this what you wanted
Me a mess and turned about
But you were wrong
I sometimes like a clean space
I work better think clearer
Oh, I see you now…less
Not as strong or sincere
I was fighting too hard
To make you the one for me
Hundreds of phone calls
Hoping I’d catch you sober
I hate being alone & it seemed
So perfectly logical
The idea
You-a dream becoming
Then, your voice is off mark a bit
And the moment has passed
Is it forever gone?
4-20-99
Obligation
so, it’s come to this
what I somehow knew was true
then why am I surprised
why do I feel like lashing out
you said not to hold back
it’s bad to keep it in
now you want my release
as if it benefited you
you need time-nothing’s changed
but I feel like it’s over now
I don’t see us moving on
your voice is getting annoying
the way you can’t be serious
I bring you way down
poor baby
I’m in shock
want to suck it in and blow it out
consume the nearest object
but is it really that wrong
I thought you were more
I’ve been so off before
I still hear his voice
“I don’t want things to change”
we moved on for sixteen months
of the same I tried
so much for him back then
am I here again
why do I know the drill?
why is this rerun replayed?
what the hell was I thinking?
why do I feel so wrong?
you say “take a few days-
think it over”-you don’t know why
and that should tell me everything
I should know by now
you won’t get evened out
I’m writing you off
but I am not satisfied
I wanted you to be more
to be real with me
as I imagined you to be
you asked me to comfort
the guilt you feel
why should I?
you go on-I may be around
or gone, I can’t wait here
it’s all been used up
there is so much I held back
all along, I can’t go back
one step too far
I no longer trust you
or your delicate ways
I would like to talk to you
sexy and full of promises
but there are none between us
none left to arouse my hope
my body-still aches in places
I can no longer give to you
so be alone-obligation free
safe in you tiny little world
too small for me
4-14-99
what I somehow knew was true
then why am I surprised
why do I feel like lashing out
you said not to hold back
it’s bad to keep it in
now you want my release
as if it benefited you
you need time-nothing’s changed
but I feel like it’s over now
I don’t see us moving on
your voice is getting annoying
the way you can’t be serious
I bring you way down
poor baby
I’m in shock
want to suck it in and blow it out
consume the nearest object
but is it really that wrong
I thought you were more
I’ve been so off before
I still hear his voice
“I don’t want things to change”
we moved on for sixteen months
of the same I tried
so much for him back then
am I here again
why do I know the drill?
why is this rerun replayed?
what the hell was I thinking?
why do I feel so wrong?
you say “take a few days-
think it over”-you don’t know why
and that should tell me everything
I should know by now
you won’t get evened out
I’m writing you off
but I am not satisfied
I wanted you to be more
to be real with me
as I imagined you to be
you asked me to comfort
the guilt you feel
why should I?
you go on-I may be around
or gone, I can’t wait here
it’s all been used up
there is so much I held back
all along, I can’t go back
one step too far
I no longer trust you
or your delicate ways
I would like to talk to you
sexy and full of promises
but there are none between us
none left to arouse my hope
my body-still aches in places
I can no longer give to you
so be alone-obligation free
safe in you tiny little world
too small for me
4-14-99
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)