I Build My House

I build my house of love
on my version of security.
I build my world-my life
on the things I can control,
things I create and mesh
tightly-
neatly-
good.
Tremble and shake-I die
in my house of locked doors,
locked up love-locked in.
I build my house of love
with hands unlearned-
stupid hands.
useless hands.
dry hands.
I build a house
I build a shelter
protect me from the storm-
no-from me and my blindness.
I turn
from God.
from salvation.
from peace.
Good news-good gospel.
I can't hear my call.
or His voice.
or any voice of those
whose intentions are true.
intentions of love.
I build silence.
My house, I build
to be destroyed.
to be swept away.
I build myself
out of nothing.
myself.
The evidence is plain-
I am no carpenter.

5-11-93