DISCO

Now she's thumping to a disco beat
out of control to the pumping lights
She used to moan and whisper
there was never any stopping her then
She still crys and scream but
with a bigger backup band
I want to catch her train
to throw off all the binders
and release the voice inside of me
crawling as powerful as the beast
out loud off the lines out of the ink
up above the white page I float
away from the closing books
She's often misunderstood but that
never kept her down before
Oh how I want the honesty of
a simple upright and her wailing
even then it was never simple much
even then she told riddles and mysteries
I can't stop her from running and
I want to run along side of her
my fingers aren't lying to anyone
they've done what they've done
and they don't ask for forgiveness
and what's more they will do it again
I want to use the boy as much he protests
does that make me evil
does that make me a bad girl
I want no one above me and no one below
I just want freedom and free access
I want lots of love and
quiet
I want her urgency ripped open
I don't care if she speaks about sex or
money or power or the grocery boy
she says everything inside of the little words
the big ones say even more
I am not infatuated
I just want it for myself
It's still sticky and it didn't feel that good
but I won't stop now
I want the minutes in between
sleep and awake to fuck hard and soft
I feel so little without an outside
body telling me what I do not know
Tell me many things tell me more
Speak to my toes and my nipples
and my tongue my mind is listening
(and I thought I had to stop there)
Will I sweat like they promised
my fingers already are
I love it when she sounds like
a seductive queen quick-talker
I project to you my secrets I've lied
I feel all of the same things
(this is such an acceptable way of telling you)
I can't imagine what losing her was like
I can't imagine your pain then
So you turn it into piano keys
strike them hard-harder for decibel strength
and you scream and you moan
and whisper and fuck the music
your constant faithful lover
I've been coveting it for years
I want to take him in my arms
the gentle way you pretend not to do
my body underneath the lights
as the sounds are too loud for them
it hurts my feet not to move
do I blame you for the disco beat
are you through with me
and my upright dream
will I wail and scream and moan
like you someday...

5-21-98

the sleeper

you lie in a room
ten by ten
hundred feet squared
in the corner-a bed
sunken mattress
cigarette stains
ashes waiting to fall
you sleep
oh, sleep
my lonely love
in a room
sleep tonight
and every night
soiled floor
soiled clothes
you wore yesterday
still smell of smoke
say always say
you'll quit
broken chair
you never use
I'll fix, love
the windows
are closed
to the world outside
you know too well
sleep long, my love
sleep deep

3-5-93

Learning Facilities

Tall brown walls
puncture my happiness.
The valley of my week
begins.

Before me lies five hands
with six hour long fingers
to claw at my tolerance.

A bell clangs,
and like a swarm
of angry bees,
the masses explode
into crowded corridors
and cracked cement paths.

Feet drag to feeding tigers.
"Here ya go, Math!
Atta girl, English:
there's an extra portion
for you!"

The beast gulp down
reluctant students,
only to regurgitate them
in fifty-one minutes
and trade delicacies.

The process continues
while select victims escape
under steel walls,
and forged passports
by educational vigilantes.

After six meals,
the hungry animals
curls up to sleep,
releasing programmed minds
to unfurl thoughts
and regain sanity.

4-92

Heartbeat

Pulsing, throbbing, pounding,
The sound of this love
Purity, innocence, and truth
The essence of this love
Wanting to know you
Wanting to be near you
Longing to please you
In everything I do
To always be beside you
To always see you smile
You love me
What more could I desire

10-27-91

Basket

spider on the floor
please, make it end
crawling slowly
onto the basket
it is empty now
used to be filled
up to the top
not anymore
you took them all
every last one
not one single left
for me to keep
slowly up the side
inch by inch
it's almost there
you were so cruel
it's on the edge
will it fall in
down to the bottom
so long to wait
oh, there it goes
or maybe not yet
it doesn't matter
long since gone

4-23-91

Blue Release

Intense
Tender to the touch
This fence
So tight it cuts
Your eyes
So wide and bright
They say
Show me the light
You move
So quick and fast
No trust
It comes from the past
Curious
You move so close
Hesitant
Fear of over dose
Poor child
You've lost so much
Little more
And you'll feel His touch
It's alright
He'll take care of you
Let go
And release your blue

6-3-90

Fad Friends

stick together
it's a promise
within itself
bound for a cause
or are we
drawn to each other
or pushed toward another
set apart
or set aside
which is it
started for a reason
or stayed just because
loose seems fall apart
when the bond
is only a front
something special
or just another style
intentions are true
when it ends true

5-23-90

Eyes

Your eyes are a window
So that I can see
Your deepest emotion
Your thoughts about me
They tell me when you hurt
They tell me when you cry
They scream out in happiness
And they scream out why
Your eyes say you love me
Your eyes say you care
Your eyes say forgive me
Your eyes say I'm there
Eyes cannot lie
But eyes can be true
Open your window
And see that I love you
 
9-27-89