Yet Another

Feeling small,
I gaze at passing clouds,
wondering how
and when my happiness withered.

Cars, trucks, and semis
congest on local passage ways.
Oh, how I long to burn pass them
and fly through the open air!

"This pain won't go away,"
I said, but could not explain.
My anchored heart
cannot whisper its story;
only can it wail with the sirens
that live in the stormy seas.

My love is not lost-
it's empty- sucked dry
by the leeches that surround me
and the dreams
that constantly laugh
at my feeble arms
reaching...

My life is the story
of a donkey and a carrot.
"Can't you see I don't care
where I'm going?"
They know
and laugh,
pointing fingers
as I stumble past.

I'm so tired and weak.
Can't you see
I can't be strong anymore?
Can't you see
I cannot be strong anymore!

And God in Heaven above is silent,
keeping the universe in line,
washing the mountains with rain,
and causing new life to be conceived.

I love to watch fireflies
in black forests
under starry skies.
I held one once
in my eager hands;
it slipped away,
right through my grasp.
It didn't understand
the love I had inside;
it didn't give me a chance
to say the right things;
it didn't wait to see
that I only needed a friend.

I lay alone again,
closing my eyes to Heaven.
My light goes out
and I whisper,
"I'm sorry."
I know He somehow understands.
I'm glad
because I don't.

7-12-92