Kriptonite

there is no
sure foot step
without holding on
boys-sex smeared smiles
and this deniable truth
of wanting it all
I am obsessed
warped & beyond repair
it would take
a thousand meaningless nights
to make it matter
sickening thought
revolting need
you were wrong
and I am leaving
before they collide
my want & need
love & lust
they are not the same
and God help me
if I allow so much
I am destined to choose
I am destined to fail
burn out
flicker fire-fly
as if we could make it happen
I ask
and sometimes answer
touch me & die
touch me now
or I walk out
you are not possible
we kindred say
all we ever needed was love
maybe a good friend
who doesn't ask
or expect
just give & takes
as natural as the sun
but for now
I accept
whatever I get
open eyes, empty heart
there is no vulnerability
I am too aware
I divide my own lines
so there can be no mistake

9-6-95