White-Lined Pages

Don’t feel much
Like writing here
White lined pages
Look so pure unused
Trying to reflect
On the same couch
Fan oscillating my hair
How is it I found
To be content still without
A soul mate
Absolution
Eight months away from
The last devastating blow
My heart still beating
Does pain make beauty-
Does pain and creativity flow
Through one line…
This is the way it seems to go
I sit and ponder pen and paper ready
My mind wanders somewhere
Out the window gone
I lose the will to write
Lose the words to describe
My heart steady
My life in control
I hope this means will not die
I still need to travel here
White-lined pages losing purity

8-15-98