The Time It Takes To Wait

eager eyes
over window sill
through curtain watch
me dress things
you did not understand
why I breathed heavily
against your neck
your youthful want
silked soft my arms
held you back
held you close
it's love that says no
it's hate that cannot endure
selfish needs to satisfy
satisfy my intentions
you need not inquire
if it was appropriate behavior
no need to state the obvious
no need to push me away
I don't want
to walk home with you
through the woods
you touch my hair
and ask for more
I scrape off bark from trees
and say I love you
but not tonight
full moon sleep deep
and protect me from myself
cover my tracks
of selfish desire
me
you
and I want so much more
than this passion embrace
because when the bottle is empty
will you pay the price
and offer yourself
for me
will you tire
of gazing green eyes
and if my hair is gray
will you touch it still
like you want
to touch me here
if I ask too much
then leave me now
and pretend no more
your love is sincere
the truest of true
hot and sweat
clammy hands tell secrets
of my womanhood
I dare not let this body
leap ahead-I drudge behind
opposite directions
of the sexual revolution
boasting fulfillment
it lied
I refuse to live in haste
for a single bed
one room mobile home
in west Arizona
NO, I will not compromise
for your version of love
it swallows whole
and goes down choking
leaving only death and regret
to nourish aging bodies
can't we wait
can we not rise with the sun
like morning flowers
stare intently and partake
of a full course life
lying still at dusk
we who have watched the sunset
know the moon is yet to come

4-13-93