part one

you make my handwriting ugly
my words sound idiotic
I hate you for everything
you're so cruel
as I button up, I think
I should have kept it on
then I never want
to speak to you again
(unless you call first)
but whose looking now
I'm sick
good word
don't you think
sick
I didn't throw up
but I ran away
I turned before
the moment got too close
desperately pretty
in a non-beautiful way
what does that mean
I got far better secrets
you'll never know
I can't talk to you
the way I always need
the way I constantly feel
more and more
sick
I'm so sick
you lied
I like to tell myself that often

9- 28-96